As a child, I had no family. The person who took me in and taught me how to be a person of worth sacrificed his life to save others in one of the ascians' calamities. He was a leader in the battle against what seemed to us like a cruel fate, and in his wake those of us still fighting only grew closer. When Lahabrea took my body, he used it to betray them. Nearly all were killed. Then the rest of us were driven to a corner, and Minfilia -- a woman I'd looked after like a sister -- gave herself up to the mother crystal to save us. In the end she gave all but the last shreds of her life to stop the destruction of the First. When I met her again, she was inhabiting the body of a young girl. Not wanting to take her hosts' lives from them, she lent them her power and left them to make their own decisions, and grieved all those who perished following her legacy.
Ultimately, she left it to the final host to determine which of them would go on. Minfilia's power was needed in its entirety. One soul needed to absorb the other. I... did not want to accept the possibility of her leaving. I wished only to save her, even at the sacrifice of an innocent girl -- and I was wrong. And still, even as I resisted understanding, I did not choose for her. In doing that, I came to love that girl as well. Just as much. Knowing that I would lose one of them forever should I keep my peace was nigh unbearable, of course, but... it was their choice. And had I stopped them, countless lives would have been lost. My behaviour was far from ideal at the time, as Emet-Selch himself witnessed, but I did make my choice, and they made theirs. Minfilia is gone, and everything I do now is for the sake of the girl she left in my care. But I will not compromise my values or theirs to do it.
[There. He's dumped info, and now he's emotionally exhausted.]
As I said, my dilemmas have been much smaller. But had I refused to let go of Minfilia, I would not have come to know and love Ryne. So on some level, I understand what good can come from loss.
Re: 267 night
[He grumbles, but continues.]
As a child, I had no family. The person who took me in and taught me how to be a person of worth sacrificed his life to save others in one of the ascians' calamities. He was a leader in the battle against what seemed to us like a cruel fate, and in his wake those of us still fighting only grew closer. When Lahabrea took my body, he used it to betray them. Nearly all were killed. Then the rest of us were driven to a corner, and Minfilia -- a woman I'd looked after like a sister -- gave herself up to the mother crystal to save us. In the end she gave all but the last shreds of her life to stop the destruction of the First. When I met her again, she was inhabiting the body of a young girl. Not wanting to take her hosts' lives from them, she lent them her power and left them to make their own decisions, and grieved all those who perished following her legacy.
Ultimately, she left it to the final host to determine which of them would go on. Minfilia's power was needed in its entirety. One soul needed to absorb the other. I... did not want to accept the possibility of her leaving. I wished only to save her, even at the sacrifice of an innocent girl -- and I was wrong. And still, even as I resisted understanding, I did not choose for her. In doing that, I came to love that girl as well. Just as much. Knowing that I would lose one of them forever should I keep my peace was nigh unbearable, of course, but... it was their choice. And had I stopped them, countless lives would have been lost. My behaviour was far from ideal at the time, as Emet-Selch himself witnessed, but I did make my choice, and they made theirs. Minfilia is gone, and everything I do now is for the sake of the girl she left in my care. But I will not compromise my values or theirs to do it.
[There. He's dumped info, and now he's emotionally exhausted.]
As I said, my dilemmas have been much smaller. But had I refused to let go of Minfilia, I would not have come to know and love Ryne. So on some level, I understand what good can come from loss.